"Molls, tell Ben that scary story about mommy's HUGE 80's hair...."

"Garfunkle likes it...you will too!"

"GREEN FOOD? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING!"

"This was supposed to be a surprise party, but I couldn't keep quiet"

"I hope they don't take this Martha Stewart crap off the market..."

"Where's the fish that sounds like Albert Brooks?"


"This is my Howard Dean impression"

"TGI-Spring!"

"Can you tell me how we got, how we got to Sesame Street?!"

"Sure Mr. Brown can Moooo but can he do the laundry?"

"Garfunkle I hate to tell you, I think you were adopted."

"When the cow jumped over the moon, where did it land?"

"Come on Ben, I'll race you to the garage!"

"Daddy's making a roast beef for all us grownups"

"Girl, Gargunkle is gonna LOVE you!"


"You're not going to put this online are you?"

"Ugh, I refuse to call you Benifer!"

"I'm so proud of you for not throwing up yesterday!"

"Rice stinks, give me a fricken burger!"

"Maybe THIS family will take us to Disney..."

"Auntie Joyce, make Mommy and Uncle Dan stop singing the 'King of Queens' theme"

"Wow, I didn't know kids could drive!"

"I think they're related to me on my blonde side..."

"I've been waiting my whole life to wear summer clothes!"

"The future's so bright..."

"Splashy Time!"

"Don't worry Grandma Judi, you got until April 15th..."

"Apparently Daddy's too busy eating to take a decent picture of me"

"We'll call ourselves 'The Babies and the Papas!'
'

"I enjoy being a girl!"

"Everyone needs an Uncle Meyer...or an Oscar Meyer"

"Wait a second...WHO'S TAKING THIS PICTURE??!!!!!"

"Vacations suck!"

"Mommy you got balls...eh, maybe I should rephrase that"

"What does it matter what I wear if my feet can't reach the pedal?"

"I think she's stoned!"

"Would it be tacky if Martha decorated her cell in stripes?"

"Daddy, just how much longer are you going to be taking these pictures?"

"We don't care who wins the election,
just don't mess with our Social Security"

"It's not mommy but it's a lot more portable."

"Even his ears smell good"