"Do you think I'm pushy?"

"We may look cute now but we're gonna raise some heck at midnight!"

"Grandma Judi, this one's for you!"

"Now that I screamed Uncle Jim through midnight, I feel like I could stay up ALL night!"

"Gee. you can hardly tell it's a toupee"

"See Dad? It doesn't hurt...you should try it..."

"I know I'm his favorite"

"I know I'm his favorite"

"How much should we withdraw?"

"Thank goodness this Bears season is almost over!"

"Charge it to my room"

"Who says you can't have cookie in the pool?"

"Wow, a game where I get to knock over things!"

"Let's make this "Dive-In" thing a tradition!'

"Dad, let me deal with Demi Moore!'

"Do you guys know my mom?'

"Ok, we're smiling...now GET US IN THE CAR!'

Maddie sings a mean 'Copacabana!'

"Uh oh, what did daddy do?"

"Don't disturb me, I'm planning something..."

"I guess swimmming's out of the question..."

"What are the chances the Cubs will win before I actually fit this hat?"

"I've gotta practice my pouty face..."

"As long as he doesn't take me to Neverland Ranch..."

"What's so funny about a hamburger clown?"

"Whoops, I forgot to shave!"

"Maddie, smile already...I gotta go!!!!!!!!!!!"

"It must be a guy thing..."

"Don't take a picture of me now...oh crap!"

"You caught me..."

"It would be a miracle if I got green yogurt eight nights in a row!"

"Where's Aunt Joyce when you need her?"

"If I didn't eat chocolate gelt so much I'd throw it in the toll booth"

"I wonder if Heidi Klum's in here!"

"Hey, this horse is FAKE!"

"All aboard for The Latke Express...."

"I wonder if that cutey over there is married..."

"Hey, this dreidle ain't made of clay!"

"I gotta save these candles before they go up in flames..."

"For 'lil ole me?"

"Forget the candles, let's open the PRESENTS!!!!"

"Well, if you're not going to finish that latke..."

"Does this sauce on my nose make me look fat?"

"I'm gonna go find where they're hiding the presents!"

"Why don't they make any Eugene Levy trading cards?"

"Real Good, Ben's gonna get Clown Phobia"

"I sure hope Dad isn't writing the captions today...ps I is pee-INg...I pEe in dUh pool..."

"I'M going to re-write the captions later today!...PS I Am uH JEan-eE-yus!"

"I hope Maddie is having a ball without me..."

"Yeah sure...whatever kid"

"Power to the flower people..."

"I've gotta find out what's in her sippy cup"